Why I am refraining from providing my son with a smartphone at this point.

I am an educator, and this is the reason why I am refraining from providing my son with a smartphone at this point.

 

The detrimental effects on the mental well-being of children are widely recognized, and individuals in the pre-adolescent stage are not sufficiently equipped to navigate the internet safely.

 

A recent extensive research conducted on a global scale, involving close to 30,000 young individuals, has revealed a noteworthy connection between the age at which children obtain their initial smartphone and their mental well-being as they transition into young adulthood.

 

Nevertheless, my son persistently implores us, his father and me, stating that everyone else possesses a smartphone. Despite reiterating our decision countless times, we inform him that he will not receive a smartphone at this moment and probably not for a few more years. Despite our unwavering stance, it is difficult not to empathize with him. As the end of his sixth-grade year approaches, conversations arise about new classmates whose parents, as one friend recently messaged, have "given in." WhatsApp groups are being created so that friends attending different secondary schools can conveniently stay in touch. It is a realm of interaction from which he will remain excluded. However, despite the distress caused, I find solace each time I come across reports highlighting the detrimental consequences that smartphones impose on children.

 

According to a recent study conducted by Dame Rachel de Souza, the children's commissioner, it was revealed that approximately one-third of today's youth have encountered explicit content online. De Souza clarifies that such content is not akin to the "top-shelf" materials that some parents may have encountered during their own youth, materials that are now regarded as antiquated. Instead, the content comprises material that showcases "representations of humiliation, forced sexuality, aggression, and exploitation, which are widespread and primarily directed towards adolescent girls in an imbalanced manner."

 

According to a study conducted by Ofcom last year, it was found that bullying is more prevalent in online environments rather than face-to-face interactions. While school bullies have always existed, their reach has extended into the sacred space of our homes due to recent technological advancements. The challenges arising from students' interactions on social media platforms are consuming a significant amount of teachers' valuable time. In February, Jon Boys, the head teacher of Herne Bay High School, addressed parents about the escalating issue of online conflicts among pupils. He emphasized that it was virtually impossible for the school to monitor and control such situations, which were the primary cause of disputes, stress, anxiety, and trauma among the students. The head teacher urged parents to take steps in limiting their children's screen time, highlighting the fact that most social media platforms require users to be at least 13 years old. Consequently, students in years 7 and 8 should refrain from using social media altogether, as per the platform's age restrictions.

While purchasing a smartphone for your child may initially appear as a means to ensure their safety and prevent social isolation, emerging evidence highlights the harmful impact of this technology on children's mental well-being. The latest survey conducted by the OECD's program for international student assessment (Pisa) encompassed 15- and 16-year-olds from 37 countries worldwide. Astonishingly, in all but one country, the number of adolescents experiencing "elevated levels of loneliness" was nearly double when smartphone access and internet usage were high, particularly in relation to school loneliness. These findings align with a recent global study involving approximately 30,000 young adults, which identified a correlation between the age at which a child receives their first smartphone and their mental health during young adulthood.

 

Researchers discovered that children who received phones at a later stage demonstrated improved mental well-being, including enhanced self-confidence and better interpersonal skills. Conversely, those who received smartphones at a younger age exhibited a higher likelihood of experiencing suicidal thoughts, aggressive tendencies towards others, and a sense of detachment from reality. Although these trends were more pronounced in females, they remained consistent across all 41 countries surveyed in the report. Additionally, children with smartphones spend an average of over three hours per day engaged in online activities, distancing themselves from family time and face-to-face interactions. The influence of social media exacerbates their inclination to constantly compare themselves with others, leading to feelings of despair. Moreover, they can be exposed to negative influences from individuals like Andrew Tate.

 

One might be tempted to disregard all of this as a futile endeavor of closing the stable door after the horse has already bolted. However, based on the information we have, I believe surrendering is not an option. Parents should be open to the idea that it is possible to resist the urge to conform, especially until their children are mature enough to navigate the internet responsibly. Interestingly, both TikTok and Snapchat have a minimum age requirement of 13 years. It is empowering to challenge the notion that a smartphone is the sole means of keeping a child safe or ensuring their access to important friendships. We can take a stand, similar to the 45,000 Texans who are part of the Wait Until 8th movement, which encourages parents to delay giving smartphones to their children until 8th grade (year 9), and hold firm until they reach their teenage years.

 

My son is only 10 years old, and he is far from being ready to navigate the confusing and harmful content he will inevitably encounter on the internet. He hasn't developed the emotional maturity to adeptly avoid the negative influences along his digital journey. As his parent, why should I assume that he can handle a terrain that even many adults struggle to navigate? Since I am unable to do so myself, I will take solace in the belief that he can manage with a good old-fashioned "dumbphone" at least until he grows older.

 

Lola Okolosie is a highly regarded English teacher and writer who specializes in exploring the realms of race, politics, education, and feminism.